Water, Water Everywhere, and I Can't Give My Lawn a Drink

You know, as a homeowner, I don't ask for much. I obey the laws of my community. I keep my grass cut. In deference to my neighbors,I haven't painted a giant Chiefs logo on my Garage door; although it would look spiffy. I pay my taxes.

And yet, the St. Johns Water Management District, the government entity charged with controlling water use in Central Florida, has decreed that I am to water my lawn no more than twice in a week, on specific days determined by whether you live at an odd, or even numbered address. Okay despite the fact that I own the land, and do not draw from city water since I have a well and pump, I can appreciate the need to conserve. After all we just came out of a drought.

Except, I drive around the area almost daily, and I see golf courses watering daily. I see city properties watering during torrential downpours, (they do make rain switches you moronic idiots; remember when you required them on all new construction several years ago?!). And now the same St. Johns Water Management District has made a huge cash deal with a water bottling company to extract 500,000 gallons of water per day from our aquifer to be bottled and sold for drinking. Let me repeat that. FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND GALLONS PER DAY.

Now excuse me for being a rabid conservative who only thinks of himself, but does this seem fair, or even logical? I've gone along with your stupid rules for a long time, because I think it's important to manage resources to the extent we can, and after all the rules are the rules. If you don't like them, vote for someone who thinks the way you do. It's the way we're supposed to do things in the good old US of A. But this is absurd. You have sold an essential resource to the highest bidder at a time when out of the other side of your collective mouth, you're lecturing me and my fellow citizens about how in five years we're going to begin running out of water. And I might add, you're using these same scare tactics to try and shut down the business I happen to be a part of.

Well I do vote and I will use that to try to keep you under control, if not put you out of a job, But I'm going to damn well water my grass whenever the hell I want!